Monday, January 14, 2013

Guidelines for divorcing couples who have children

Divorce is not a pleasant experience, but a reality that families need to cope with. Every family is different and so are the situations they are in. Some guidelines can help to relieve the stress and lessen the pain for the kids and the entire family. Parents need to interpret their feeling in their own ways as they are the closest to their children. They need to be patient.

You need to help your kids to manage their feelings and face the reality, be objective. Encourage kids to be open and honest about their feelings, they may be positive or negative feelings about what is happening. For divorcing parent it is important that they spend time with their kids. Most often the kids are suffering from the feeling of loss; and blame themselves for the problems between their parents. So when you discuss issues and feelings with your children be prepared to answer their questions.

Talk to them about how it is going to affect them. As children get older, they mature and might have different concerns. This is thus an ongoing process, that continues after the divorce too.

If you observe that you get too upset call for help from a relative or friend. Group programs and divorce child support give divorce advice and help children to cope with their feelings . Children are eager to know the reason behind the separation and you need to explain them the reasons. Children are also insecure about their future, unsure and worried. Extend an assuring hand to them and make them feel secure by constantly being with them.

Keep the conflicts away from the kids

Parents get too vocal in front of their kids and research shows that the problem lies in the fact that parents argue in front of their children about issues.

Do not use your kids as messengers to converse and communicate with your partner. Do not ask them to spy on their parent and find out what happens in your absence. Communicate directly with your spouse on all the matters.

Remarriages are the toughest part of divorce. Children take time to adjust to new families and often resent it.

Keep the lines of communication open with your children.


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